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Story Title: UNISEX R US
"2013 called," said the Supreme Overlord, Lesbian Dad. "And she wants her clothes back."
"I'm not OK with your attitude," said Designer Baby.
"Learn to take constructive criticism," said Lesbian Dad.
"That's not constructive, that's just an insult," said Designer Baby.
"I beg pardon?" asked Lesbian Dad.
The audience was confused.
"I think you're a bully," said Designer Baby. "You're afraid of my cool retro outfits and my kickass stilts, so you make fun of me to try to keep me in my place. And I'm not OK with that."
"And now that I am independent, it scares you, huh?"
I mean, back then you would cry and we had a list of things we could do to comfort you. Tummy, yummy, cuddles, diapers. Rock you to sleep and listen to the sound of your contented snores. No problems. And now that you are growing up so fast, I just don't know anymore. Don't you think we want you to be happy? To have a happy life? A lot of friends and fitting in and art. . .and music and contentment. . ."